Cowboys

Firstly I'd like to say that I don't think all builders are bastards. I do however think the ones who are doing work on our neighbour's house are. And massive ones at that.

Why?

Well they left the mattress and assorted other shite lying around that some probably drugged-up young scrote torched the other week.

They have leaned things against our fence and weakened it a bit, they churned up the path outside our house when they manipulated a tiny digger into the garden, they spilled cement all over the other neighbour's garden (fuck knows why they were in there anyway) and they occupy all 6 parking spaces outside the houses with their vans every single day.

They “fixed” the neighbour's guttering so that now ours overflows when it rains heavily, they turned the water off one day for seemingly no reason which hindered the flushing away of my morning megaturd and I couldn't put the bin out one week because they were blocking our gate with all manner of building-based crap.

This one is unforgivable though: one of them sings random, tuneless excerpts from songs almost constantly and I can hear ever bloody word.

After they had fitted a “conservatory” this week, Mrs Tim was concerned that they'd gone over the boundary of the other neighbour's (currently unoccupied) property, so she told them about it.

The builders were peeved that she'd grassed them up and have since decided to act like total cunts to her.

I've sworn that I won't confront them over it, but it would be a shame if anyone wanted to check their tax records, wouldn't it? Or if someone smeared faeces over the windscreens of their vans.