Parenting

I understand that for parents, their kids are the most important thing in the world. I understand this because of the 9,000 photos people upload to Facebook every time their son or daughter blinks/does something cute. What I don’t understand is some people’s attitude towards parenting.

Black Friday

In the US, they traditionally follow a day of eating turkey and being thankful for land they stole from the natives by going shopping. Why not? I know I always feel like abusing my credit cards right after I force indigenous people out of their homes.

We're Going down the Pub

“Let’s go for a pint,” is always a suggestion you want to hear. Unfortunately, the place you choose to go to for said pint might induce rage.

Health

Isn’t this country’s health system the best in the world? It might once have been, but the way it is right now is a joke.

Sweet Treats

Remember when Wagon Wheels were the size of dinner plates? Remember when a Curly Wurly used to be three feet long? Remember when Skittles tasted like freshly-squeezed fruit juice that was dripped into your mouth via a pipette?

Television

I don’t have a TV. There’s never really anything worth watching anyway and I can watch the few things that appeal to me online without the need to line the pockets of the paedophile-enablers at the BBC.

'Tis The Season

It’s far too early for talk of Christmas.

Remember, Remember...

Bonfire Night is fun for all the family. Unless you’re a family of hedgehogs. Or someone with ears.

The Royal Family

“We all love them,” people say. No we don’t. They’re a burden on the taxpayer.

The monarchy costs each of us 56p every year. While that isn’t a significant sum for anyone to spend (I just spent almost that much on a sausage roll), it would be nice to have the choice.