Days

Today is International Women’s Day.

Already it is being ruined by people asking: “But when is International Men’s Day?”

It’s on 19^th November, apparently.

That’s not the big issue here. The problem is the sheer number of Days that are now celebrated.

This is after all 2015, the Year of Light and Lightbased Technologies, whatever the fuck that means.

I’ve trawled the internet for literally minutes and come up with a list of some of the most ludicrous celebrations ever devised.

Pack Your Lunch Day. This is presumably much more pleasant than the other 364 Starve to Death Days.

Honesty Day. It would be a great day to track down whoever thought of Honesty Day and tell them that they invented one of the most pointless celebrations of all time and that they are, in fact, a bit of an arse. But in a nice way.

Put a Pillow on Your Fridge Day. It’s meant to bring good luck, but I recommend anyone who subscribes to such nonsense to instead try Put a Pillow over Your Face Day and get someone to press on it really hard.

Russian Language Day. As long as Google Translate works as it should: 

Это нормально, если вы собираетесь ездить на Украину , 

рубашки и на спине медведя , прежде чем объявить его своим в то

 время как запрет на гомосексуализм.

Stay out of the Sun Day. For most of the world, this is in July. For those in Scotland, it’s every day.

Ride the Wind Day. Sadly it doesn’t involve sitting around a camp fire, eating beans and trying to recreate that scene from Blazing Saddles. It’s about aeronautics.

International Ninja Day. You probably won’t notice the celebrations.

I may have pointed out some pretty crappy days that nobody in their right mind will have written in their diary, but I feel I should even the balance a little.

On 30^th December you can celebrate World Bacon Day. That is clearly much more important than men or women, international or otherwise.