I Can See Clearly Now

My eyesight has been deteriorating a little for some time, but I refused to do anything about it.

"You're stubborn," you might say.
"No I'm not," I would shout back.
I was in denial, but today I decided enough was enough. There's only so many times you can stand beneath the kitchen light, moving a jar right up to your face and then to an arm's length away in a desperate attempt to read the label, without success. There's only so many times you can blame a poor choice of font or colour as being the reason for not being able to see something properly any more.
So I reluctantly decided to get some reading glasses.
This didn't involve a trip to an optician to look at charts with one eye covered. I decided to take matters into my own hands and visit somewhere renowned for its high quality specs - Wilko.
Yes, that's right. Well, they're apparently "alright", I'd been told and fundamentally they only cost £4.99 a pair.
I knew I probably only needed a +1 pair, but the weakest they had were +1.5. I tried them on anyway. They were too strong. How did I know this? Because the writing on the sign above the shelf was now at least double the size and ten times brighter than it had previously been and I felt nauseous with the slightest movement.
I put them back and went off to Yorkshire Trading instead. They had the +1s I wanted. I tried them on. Perfect.
Even at the till I expected the cashier to say something like "Ha ha! You're going blind, you fucking four-eyed bastard!" but that didn't happen. I paid and left.
Now I join the ranks of the bespectacled. At least on a part-time basis.
If my eyesight gets too bad I'll just saw the bottom off a couple of Coke bottles and bend a wire coathanger around them. Problem solved.