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Wednesday 23 September 2015

Midweek Rant



I’ve discovered a new thing that pisses me off. The word epic.
Or, more importantly, the way some people use it.
“I feel epic,” is now a staple of the twats’ vernacular.
And why do you feel “epic”? Is it because you just took a selfie of your latest vajazzle, or because you found a shop that sells baseball caps with visors on the back so you don’t have to turn a normal one around?
Four teenagers walked past our house at the weekend, talking loudly about masturbation.
“I did it three times yesterday,” one of them yelled with great pride.
“Epic,” replied his mate.
I’m surprised any of them can find the time for a date with Rosie Palm and her five sisters, what with all the Call of Warcraft, or whatever it’s called, that needs to be played.
The worrying thing is that some of these morons could one day end up running things.
We should enjoy the time we still have before one of these dipshits passes a law making text speak the official language of this country, from a Parliament that is just like a Greggs megastore.
Oh, and I’m fully expecting people to comment on this post, claiming it’s “epic”. None of you are funny.

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