Gigs

This is a request rant. Kind of.

“I hate people who wear earplugs at gigs,” a friend said to me this summer. “You should rant about that.”

Chris Martin of Coldplay apparently recommends the use of them. If I was forced to go and see Coldplay, I’d probably just fill my ears with Polyfilla and be done with it.

Yes, exposure to loud music can damage your hearing, but that’s part of the fun. Why numb the senses to the enjoyment, even if it is damaging?

I suppose the same applies to the use of condoms or sunblock though.

In any case, it’s not the most annoying thing you’ll see at a gig.

People who practically barge you out of the way and then stand right in front of you are definitely right up there. As are drink-spillers, people waving inflatable objects of all varieties and anyone who dances inside your imaginary bubble of personal space.

But they aren’t the worst.

I think you all know where this is going.

Yes, it’s people standing in front of you, holding aloft an iPad or even a laptop to take a picture of the band.

Even more annoying though is when you realise after they’ve held it up for the first three songs that they’re going to film the entire set whilst obscuring your view. I find screaming some profanities right behind them quite pleasing when this happens.

You move to find a spot where you can enjoy an unobstructed view. Not an easy task.

When you eventually find a spot, it’s short-lived. Almost immediately some prick with a selfie stick pops up, wanting to take five hundred pictures with their friends right in front of you. If they don’t upload pics of themselves to Facebook every thirty seconds the world might stop turning.

It’s amazing more people aren’t arrested at gigs for attempting to kill these bastards.