Computers

I was going to just mess about on the internet this morning, but it’s being so slow. Just slow enough to piss me right off.

15 years ago I would have killed for it to be as fast as this, but now we’ve been spoiled and everything must be instant.

The fact that you’re reading this means I successfully uploaded it and there’s nothing wrong with my internet, doesn’t it? No. I tried seven times before it finally worked and I’m glad I don’t keep a claw hammer anywhere near my laptop as it would now be in a million pieces.

My web anger is nothing compared to my printer anger though. Two days ago I decided to print a document, a fairly routine procedure. Pressed print: “sending print data to printer,” I was told. After half an hour I realised that it was doing no such thing and cancelled it. The printer was connected properly, there was plenty of paper and there was none jammed anywhere it shouldn’t be and ink levels were good. Try again.

“Sending print data to printer,” my computer claimed again, outlandishly. I stared at the lifeless printer in disgust and cancelled the operation again. I checked absolutely everything I could think of and performed all the maintenance tasks that were suggested online. It was in great shape. Excellent. Try again.

“Sending print data to printer”. I waited and waited. Still nothing. You know you’re completely out of ideas when you stand in front of a printer screaming “FUCKING PRINT, YOU BASTARD!” This was what it had come to.

I’ve just left it alone and assume it will fix itself at some point. I may never be able to print anything out ever again.