The Royal Family

“We all love them,” people say. No we don’t. They’re a burden on the taxpayer.

The monarchy costs each of us 56p every year. While that isn’t a significant sum for anyone to spend (I just spent almost that much on a sausage roll), it would be nice to have the choice.

The Queen’s official expenditure from the Sovereign Grant increased to £35.7m last year, which was an increase of £1.9m on the previous year. When was the last time you had a pay rise like that?

That isn’t the only money the royal family get though. I mean how could they possibly make ends meet on such a paltry amount?

The Duchy of Lancaster provides them with a further £13m per year and the Duchy of Cornwall £18m. The Duchy of Cornwall is hotly-contested by Cornish residents as a lot of the money comes from people who die without leaving a will. Prince Charles has invested some of this money in business, but not in Cornwall. He has, in fact, helped out already-rich friends with their ventures.

The Duke of Edinburgh receives a “parliamentary annuity” of £359,000 per year from the Treasury as well. Presumably that funds his casual racism habit.

If that’s not enough they are also exempt from tax. Hardly seems fair while most of us are penny-pinching to make ends meet, does it?

“But they work really hard,” say the royalists.

When has travelling first class to a place for the purposes of cutting a ribbon and waving at people been hard work? They are over-privileged and it needs to stop.

“They benefit the economy,” is an argument with no basis. If the monarchy was dissolved tomorrow all the palaces and castles would still be there. People would still come and visit them. Everyone has visited ruined castles before and not cared that nobody still lives there.

Those who are employed by Buckingham Palace are on little more than minimum wage and many are on zero-hour contracts. Fantastic employers the royals aren’t. It wouldn’t surprise me if they banned cigarette breaks too. No wonder that butler stole so much stuff from Princess Diana.

We need a referendum and we need it now. It’s time to stop these rich hangers-on who serve no purpose. And I want my 56p-a-year back.