Down with the Sickness

The NHS takes a lot of stick. It’s broken, it’s underfunded, it’s stretched to its absolute limit, it’s a disaster, depending on what you read.

And depending on what you read there’s a reason why it’s buggered. Obviously it’s mostly because of bloody immigrants, coming over here and taking our illnesses. No, what an absolute crock of shit. It’s really buggered because it’s managed by a government who couldn’t organise a piss up in a brewery that specialises in piss ups and actually does all the organising of it for you.

Some people say that the NHS is great. Have these people used it recently or do they know someone who has?

My mother has been in hospital twice this year, her most recent stay being 10 days. She came out in better shape than when she went in which is good, but the fact is she should have got out a lot sooner.

Doctors were about to discharge her when they suddenly noticed that her calcium levels were dangerously low. That put the kybosh on leaving, but at least she was in the right place to get treatment.

24 hours later the figures made better reading. This was partly due to the intravenous calcium drip, but mostly due to the staff’s startling admission. They told her that her calcium level hadn’t been too low at all, but in fact they had looked at the wrong sheet of paper in her records when deciding it was. All those years of medical training were clearly an absolute waste of time and money.

So the fact that she ended up in hospital for a day longer than was necessary is partly to blame for the NHS being over-burdened.

And there wasn’t a health tourist in sight.

I hope she's left a scathing review of Darlington Memorial Hospital on Trip Advisor.