Easter

For many people the Easter holidays have now started, but some of us still have to work before we can celebrate how Jesus once had a bare-knuckle brawl with a bunny. Or something.

Boybands

So, it seems that pornographic, Harry Potter-themed boyband, Wand Erection, are one “singer” short today.

Cycling

I cycle because I have a bike and it costs nothing to get from A to B. I don’t massively enjoy it or anything.

Bejeezus

Were you thinking of going out tonight?

Top Gear

Remember the film Falling Down with Michael Douglas?

Celebrity Shitlist

I’ve already ranted about the pointlessness of celebrity, but now the masses have spoken.

A Trip to the Shop

I went to the supermarket earlier and am convinced that I became momentarily possessed by an evil spirit while I was at the checkout.

Days

Today is International Women’s Day.

Age

I’m sitting at the kitchen table typing this. I have no alcohol on a Friday night. They’re practising bell-ringing at the church and still haven’t progressed beyond a Figaro/Three Blind Mice mash-up.

Smoking

I remember making the outlandish claim “I’ll give up when they go over two quid a packet.”

Hipsters

These people are slowly spoiling everything.